2 Broke Girls and the Wannabe White Jock
by LoveLorned
Summary: Caroline's ex-boyfriend, William, drops by the diner with a new girlfriend. Max does all it takes to prevent Caroline from seeing him.
1. Chapter 1

Max grabbed two plates of grilled ham and cheese sandwich with french fries that Oleg passed through the kitchen window. As Max turned around and prepared to deliver the plates to the customers, she saw a familiar figure come in the entrance. "Oh no..not Mr. Snow White. And with a skanky girl too!" Max scanned around the diner. "Is Caroline there?" She asked Oleg in a hushed voice.  
>"Yes, she's here...marrying the bottles of ketchup. Why, wazzup?" Oleg asked, raising his left eyebrow.<br>"See the table at 3 o'clock?"  
>"Wanna-be white jock and anemic Kim Kardashian?"<br>"Yup, you got it! Except the wanna-be white jock is Caroline's ex-boyfriend."  
>"You gotta be kidding?" Oleg exclaimed in amazement. "Maybe I have a chance with her, after all."<br>"If you see Caroline about to leave the kitchen and head to the dining area, give me a signal.  
>"What kind of signal?"<br>"You think of it, while I bring these plates over to the table of yellow hipsters over there. Do something very Oleg, so everything will seem normal."  
>"Gotcha!"<br>"Remember, Oleg. Signal!" She eyed Oleg to make sure he understood. Oleg nodded.

"Two ham and cheese specials for sharing." Max lay the plates down on the center of the table. She pulled a bottle of mustard from her apron's front pocket. "And a side of mustard. Enjoy!"  
>Max heard a megaphone blast loudly through the entire diner. "Max, mi amor!" Oleg announced in a deep husky voice.<br>"What the?" Max darted her eyes towards Oleg. Oleg pointed at the kitchen door. He mouthed: _CA-RO-LINE_.  
>Max started swearing. "Shit! Shit! Shit!" She rushed to the kitchen door, just as it swung open.<br>Without thinking, Max put her hands over Caroline's eyes and nudged her slowly back the door to the kitchen.  
>"What are you doing, Max?" Caroline removed Max's hand from her eyes.<br>"I need to talk to you about something." Max said in a hurried tone. Her mind was racing for ideas.  
>"Right now at work? We can talk when we get home, silly." Caroline dismissed, and proceeded to the door.<br>_NO!_ Max pulled Caroline back, placed her arms around her head, closed her eyes, and kissed Caroline on the mouth. Caroline froze for a second and stood motionless. Then, she tilted her head and pressed her mouth onto Max's.  
>Oleg watched the girls making out. "Free live girl on girl action. I love my job!" He beamed. "Do you ladies need any help? This can become even more interesting, you know?"<br>Max raised her middle finger at Oleg's direction.  
>Oleg giggled. "Ok, I get your drift. You enjoy exclusivity."<p>

Max pulled her mouth away. "Ewww, tongue! Gross!" She grabbed a paper towel and wiped her tongue frantically. "Do I look French to you?"  
>Caroline's cheeks were blushing a rosy red. "Sorry, I got carried away. We can do it again. No tongue this time, I promise."<br>"No, Caroline. This never happened and we are never going to talk about it."  
>"But Max, it's good to talk these things out. You can't keep your emotions bottled up. Frankly, I'm flattered that you have a thing for me." She chirped in a high-pitched voice. "You don't have to be ashamed. Katy Perry and her millions of fans think it's cool."<br>Max put up her hands. "Whoa, I don't have a thing for you. You're not even my type!"  
>"Oooh, I smell a cat fight brewing. Can this day get any better?" Oleg murmured, watching the two girls intently.<p> 


	2. Chapter 2

The blood on Caroline's face flushed. Her eyes looked down on the kitchen tiles.  
><em>Here we go again! <em>Max rolled her eyes. "Are you crying?"  
>Caroline shook her head. "No!" She looked up at Max. "It's just that...you can really be mean and hurtful sometimes."<br>"And you can be a big baby sometimes!" Max retorted. "You think this is mean and hurtful? What DisneyWorld bubble have you been living in, princess? Welcome to the real world!" Max bit her lip. _Ooooh, did I just say all those words out loud? I think I went too far this time._  
><em>Is that really how you think of me? A spoiled dumb blonde who can't stand on her own feet? I thought you were different. You're just like everyone else. <em>"That's it! I've had enough of you talking down to me!" Caroline took off her apron and threw it down on the floor. "I'm not taking any more of this verbal abuse."  
>She straightened her back and directed her gaze towards Oleg. "Oleg, please tell Han that I'm taking the rest of the day off."<br>_You've got to be kidding me. Grow up!_ Max picked the apron up from the floor and shoved it to Caroline. "They may have taught you the 4-hour work week in Wharton. But we actually work a 40-hour week here at Han's diner."  
>Caroline pointed her finger at Max. "No, you do." Then, she pointed at herself. "Unlike you, I, Caroline Channing, don't have to."<br>_Hah! We'll see about that. _Max raised her right eyebrow. "Whatever. Do what you want."  
>Caroline turned her back and slowly walked toward the kitchen door.<br>Oleg shifted his stance to face Max. "Max! Ahem.." He gestured towards the dining room. "Didn't you tell me you wanted to talk to Caroline about something in private...away from the dining room?"  
><em>Not my problem anymore.<em> Max put her hands up and shrugged. "I completely forgot what I wanted to talk about." She smiled slightly. "I'm sure it will come to me later tonight or tomorrow."  
>The kitchen door swayed back as Caroline strolled out into the dining area. As she walked towards the diner entrance door. She paused to greet Earl before heading out. Then, she heard a familiar voice call out from behind her. "Caroline?"<br>"William!" She whispered under her breath. _I can't be caught dead in this diner. _She kept her eyes looking straight to the exit as she pushed the door outward, about to leave the diner.  
>She felt a hand grab and tug on her right shoulder. "Caroline, is that you?" William persisted.<br>_Oh god, he caught on to me. What should I do?_


	3. Chapter 3

Caroline slowly turned her head to face William. "William...Nice to see you," She forced a grin. _What are you doing in this dingy diner, again?_  
>"How's life been treating you?" William asked.<br>_Let me see. My dad is in jail. Our home has been locked up. I'm a waitress, working for way less money than you can ever imagine. And of course, let's not forget - you dumped me_. Caroline's mind wandered back to her conversation with William. "Not too shabby." She chirped. "As you can see, I'm still the same Caroline."  
>"Yes. You still look -" He paused. "- as stunning as when we left off."<br>_I totally didn't expect that. _Hearing those words from William, brought a shimmer of light to her face. "Thank you!" A shy grin crept up her face. "That's very sweet of you to say."  
>"Are you seeing someone?" He put his hands up playfully. "You can be totally honest with me. I won't judge."<br>Caroline shook her head. "No, I can't handle a relationship right now. My life is in such a mess." She let out a fake laugh. "I still need to untangle it, figure things out on my own."  
>"We really need to catch up." He insisted. "Come join our table."<br>Caroline looked down on her watch. "I really need to get going."  
>"This won't be long." William tugged her arm. "I want to introduce you to someone."<br>"Alrighty, I'll give you five minutes." Caroline followed closely behind William.  
>"Caroline, meet Naomi." William occupied his space, next to Naomi and put his arm over her shoulder. "This, hot and sexy lady right here, is my girlfriend."<br>"Stop it!" Naomi giggled, extending her hand out to Caroline. "I am Naomi and it's a pleasure to meet you..."  
><em>What an idiot I am! I can't believe that I thought he changed. He wanted to gloat. <em>Caroline stared at Naomi blankly. _He exchanged me for this bimbo. Ugh, dear God - kill me now. _  
>Reluctantly, Caroline reached out and shook Naomi's hand. She opened her mouth, but no word came out.<br>"Sorry, your name is?" Naomi asked.  
>Caroline cleared her throat. "I'm...ummm -"<br>"She's Caroline Channing." William answered. "She's my ex."  
>Naomi gasped, and almost squealed. "Oh..THE Caroline Channing?"<br>A tinge of red flushed through Caroline's cheeks as she nodded.  
>"What on earth are you doing here?" Naomi asked. "Shouldn't you be in jail, where your daddy is?"<br>Caroline stood, paralyzed. The walls of the diner seemed like they were closing in on her. She breathed heavily, taking in as much air as she could to keep her thoughts from spinning too fast._ I can't let them know that I'm a waitress. What if the tabloids find out?_


	4. Chapter 4

Then, she heard a familiar voice call out her name: "Caroline!" Max was waving a brown take-out bag. "I forgot to give you the cupcakes."  
>Caroline let out a sigh and smiled. <em>Thank you! I owe you big time for this one.<em>  
>Max sauntered across the dining area, towards their table. She handed the bag to Caroline. "Your favorite: Max' specialty red velvet cupcakes!"<br>Caroline beamed, her eyes glistening. "Thank you, I love your cupcakes!" She hugged Max.  
>Max leaned closer and whispered in Caroline's ear. "Don't freak out. Just trust me and go along this. Got it?" Max paused to let the words sink in. "Close your eyes and tilt your head to the right."<br>Caroline obeyed. As she tilted her head, she felt the lips of Max softly touching hers. She placed her arms around Max' neck and kissed back_._  
>"Ahemmm." William was staring at the girls, confused.<br>Caroline pulled away, and jumped back. "William, I forgot to introduce you. This is Max, my -"  
>Max chimed in. "Girlfriend."<br>William looked at Caroline. "I didn't know you were a..."  
>Max completed his thoughts. "Lesbian?"<br>Caroline blushed, her cheeks turning a light hue of pink. "I'm not a lesbian." She protested.  
>"Yeah, Caroline here is not a lesbian. She used to go out with guys before she met me." Max held on to Caroline's hand and squeezed it gently, reassuring her.<br>"I get it. I have nothing against lesbians." William forced a grin. "I'm happy for you, Caroline. You're slowly pulling yourself together."  
>"Well, her last boyfriend was such a complete dirtbag." Max continued in a boisterous tone. "He left her when her family lost everything. Can you imagine that?" Max banged on the table for effect, and eyed William closely. "What kind of human being does that?"<br>William felt his face heat up. He started to sweat.  
>Caroline sensed William getting uncomfortable. <em>Good, now we're kinda even. <em>"Actually, William was my last boyfriend." She looked William in the eye. "But no hard feelings. My life now is so much better." She wrapped her arms around Max and clinged onto her body, intensifying the blow to William's ego.  
>"Ooops...sorry!" Max gasped and faked her surprise. "I didn't know you were that 'jock'." She extended her hand out. "I should really thank you. Caroline would never have jumped to 'my ship' if it weren't for you." Max winked her eye.<br>William stood up and moved out of the booth. "We should really leave now." William glanced at Naomi.  
>"Uh-uh. I'm not leaving with you." Naomi retorted sternly. "We're done!" She looked away and walked out.<br>William grunted. "Look what you've done!" He glared at Max. "Thanks for ruining my relationship." He stormed away, rushing behind Naomi.  
>"I don't know what you were thinking, man." Max continued on loudly, as the broken couple headed towards the exit. "Caroline is the best partner I've ever had, in more ways than one." Then, she giggled playfully.<br>The diner erupted in applause. Max held Caroline's hand up and curtsied to oblige the audience.  
><em>Oh my God! I totally forgot that there were other people in the diner. I hope they didn't catch the entire scene. <em>Caroline stood still, gaping at Max with her doe eyes.  
>Max snapped her fingers in front of Caroline. "Why are you looking at me like that?"<br>_If only I could tell you. _Caroline shook her head. "Nothing."  
>"Girl, you should be dancing with glee right now!" Max did a small celebratory dance. "You won! He's out of your hair for good."<br>Caroline beamed. "You're right!" She gave Max a big warm hug. "Thank you for saving me!"  
>"You don't have to thank me." Max laughed away her heroic deed. "That's what girlfriends do. They save each other from their horrible ex-es."<br>_Why do you have to brush everything off like that? Can't you feel what I'm feeling?_


	5. Chapter 5

Max heard a loud snort and giggle coming from the kitchen. "Oleg?", she asked, raising her eyebrow.

Oleg held a camera on his hand as he wandered to the dining room. His eyes were fixed intently on the LCD display screen. "This is priceless!" He exclaimed. "I just love America!"

Max held out her right hand, then pointed to the camera with her other hand. "Oleg!" She called out.

In a split second, Oleg sneaked the camera inside his pants. "Come and get it yourself, my lady."

"Ewww! That's disgusting!" Max said. She nudged at Caroline. "That's too much for me. You should get it."

Caroline raised her hands up in surrender. "Uh-uh. Even that is too gross for me."

Max turned her attention back to Oleg. "You have to delete whatever you have in there!"

"I may be a sex deviant, but I'm not crazy." He winked his eye. "The video here is a million times better than what I pay for on television."

Max raised her voice. "Do you know what will happen if your video leaks out?"

"A lot of horny men around the world will be happy." He greened sheepishly.

"Seriously, Oleg!" She fixated her dark glare at Oleg. "Do you know what this video can do to Caroline's reputation? The league of rich social snobs will banish her forever!"

_Awww, Max. You have no idea how much I want to kiss you right now. _

Max noticed Caroline gazing into space. Max mimicked the voice of R2D2: "Earth to Caroline."

Caroline snapped back to consciousness. "What were we talking about again?"

Max pointed to Oleg's crotch. "You know." She made creepy hand gestures in the air. "The Thing!"

This made Oleg beam even wider. "One of you have to reach down there and grab it."

Max looked at Caroline whose face was blushing. "Ok, I'm going in." Max said as she moved towards Oleg. She extended her hand to the zipper of his pants. Then, she closed her eyes and looked away.

The sight of Max reaching her hand into Oleg's crotch disturbed Caroline. "No, Max!" She cried out. "Don't do it!"

Max opened her eyes and saw Caroline's blue eyes gaping directly in front of her. "You have a better plan?" Max asked.

Caroline nodded happily. "Yes, I think I'm having one of those brilliant business insights right now."

Oleg shook his head, disinterested. "I don't do business."

"You'll get to keep the video." Caroline explained.

"Go on, I'm listening."

"In exchange, you have to give us a copy so we can upload it to YouTube."

"Me likey!" Oleg said eagerly. Then, he extended his arm out. "Deal! Let's shake on that."

Caroline shook his hand. "Thank you!"

"You might want to wash your hand." Oleg giggled. "Just saying…"

When Oleg left the dining area and returned to the kitchen, Max talked to Caroline. "Girl, are you going out of your mind?"

"Relax, it's okay. You don't have to always worry about me." _I'm a grown up now. I'll manage. I can deal with anything. As long as you're here by my side._

"Aren't you afraid of what people will think? Or the tabloids?" Max asked, concerned.

Caroline looked Max in the eye and redirected the question. "Are YOU ashamed to have the video online?"

"No, of course not." Max shrugged it off. "But you know I don't care about what people think. I just don't want you to -"

"Get hurt?" Caroline continued Max' train of thought. "After losing our fortune, having my dad taken to prison, my boyfriend dumping me…" Caroline tried her best to hold back her tears, but Max could see through her. "I think it's too late late to not get hurt."

Although it was not second nature to her, Max could not resist. She pulled closer towards Caroline and wrapped her arms tightly around her. "I'm not good at this." She began. "But I want you to know that I'll always be here for you."

Those words tugged at Caroline's heart strings. She felt her heart beating faster and stronger. _I think I might be falling in love with you. Do you feel the same way?_ She wiped her tears away, and ignored the thoughts that were clouding over her mind. "Thank you. Hearing that means a lot to me."

As soon as she regained her composure, Caroline explained her business idea. "I will try to speak in non-business terms here. Basically, we publish the video on YouTube. They will put ads on our video. When viewers click on the ads, we get money!"

Max sensed the strong excitement from Caroline's voice. "Sounds like a great idea. Let's do it!"

The next day, Max heard her alarm go off. She looked at the clock, which read 6 o' clock. She slammed on the snooze button. As she turned over to the other side of the bed, she heard the alarm go off again. "What the –?" Then, she saw a dark silhouette blocking the sunlight from her window. "It's effing 6 'o clock in the morning. Leave me alone."

"Wake up!" Caroline screeched. "Here, I made you coffee since I knew you'd be grumpy." She carefully placed the cup of coffee on the side table away from the alarm clock.

"Why are you awake at 6 'o clock?" Max grunted.

"Aren't you excited to see how many views our video generated?"

"My brain is too sleepy to process the excitement." She closed her eyes again and willed Caroline to vanish from her room. Three seconds later, no more shadow. No more sound. _Did I just will her away? This is pretty cool._ Max wondered. The thought made her smile.

Then, her happy thoughts were disturbed by a familiar bubbly voice. "Maaaaaax!"

_No, no, no. Go away! I want to sleep. _Max thought, hoping that her thoughts would work their magic again.

She felt the heat from Caroline's body closing in on her. "Wakey wakey!"

"Oh God." Max whispered. "Now I know what drove the poor old lady in Texas to kill her yapping puppy."

Miao, miao, miaoooo! The speaker blasted in a song.

"Are those kitties singing?" Max's eyes were now wide open in amazement. She moved closer to Caroline for a better view of the video. "Aww…don't you just love these kittens? They're just sooooo cute." She said in her animated baby voice.

Caroline observed Max watching intently as the kittens continued purring gleefully in a chorus. She laughed out loud._ I knew that would wake you up! You have such a soft heart; you just don't know it._ "Now that you're awake, let's get down to business." She logged into YouTube as CaroMax and checked her video uploads. "501,900 views in one day!" She clicked on her billing account. "Wow! We've just earned $487.50 for our cupcake fund. Hi-five, sistah!" Caroline raised her hand and slapped Max's hand in celebration.

"I have to give it to you." Max conceded. "This was indeed a brilliant idea.

"I didn't work my little butt off at Wharton for nothing."

"I'm still surprised that you agreed to publish the video…" Max said inquisitively.

"It was a great money-making opportunity, so I had to seize it."

Max put up her hand in a salute. "Hail to the capitalists of America!"

"Besides, I couldn't let you put your hand inside Oleg's pants. That's too much torture for anyone to handle." Caroline retorted jokingly.

Max put her hands together in a praying gesture and bowed her head slightly. "Thank you for that."

"And…" Caroline continued. "You taught me to not care what other people think."

"Touché!" Max raised her cup of coffee, grinning proudly. "Glad to see some of my indifference rub off on you."

While Max was sipping and enjoying her freshly brewed coffee, Caroline pondered quietly as if in a trance. Then, her eyes lit up. "Can you imagine how much money we would generate if we create a series of these videos?" Then she continued rambling. "We'll be a household name like Sonny and Cher, Bonnie and Clyde." Her mind wandered off into the dreamy plains of her subconscious. _Caroline and Max. It does have a nice ring to it._

"Uh-oh, those crazy business eyes again." Max scoffed. "Last time you had those, you became a freaking coupon monster."

"I'm serious!" The excitement glowed from Caroline's eyes like the Northern Lights amidst the pitch dark sky. "If we release one video a week, we could be in business by end of this year!"

"You have officially gone insane!" Max put out her hand in front of Caroline. "I don't want to hear any more of this jibberish."

"Come on! You have to admit it's easy money." Caroline beamed.

"You should hear yourself." Max rolled her eyes and teased. "You're slowing transforming into your father."

As soon as the sentence ended, an unwelcome silence engulfed the bedroom. Max immediately regretted dropping those words. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean it that way." Max uttered in an almost inaudible tone. "My mouth sometimes thinks faster than my head."

But Max's apology came too late. A stream of tears was already flowing down Caroline's eyes. "He wasn't a bad person." She sobbed softly. "At least to me, he's always been a great dad."

Max nodded and remained silent. She didn't know what else to say and was afraid that she might aggravate the situation even more. She just let Caroline lay her head on her shoulder and held on to her hand gently. Having Max' warm body next to her was enough to comfort her, reassure her. No, everything is not going to be all right. But now, she had someone she could always count on and turn to when things turned rough.

For the rest of the afternoon, Caroline stepped out of the apartment to spend time with herself. She told Max that she wanted to clear her mind. Max understood and was glad to have the creative space she needed alone. She kept herself busy experimenting with new cupcake flavors. She played around with different ratios of Duncan Hines, Betty Crocker and Pillsbury cake mixes and took notes about the texture, bite and flavour resulting from each iteration. While Max was checking the last batch of cupcakes being baked inside her purple oven, Caroline barged into the apartment. She grabbed a small box from the red Macy's shopping bag she was carrying and showed them off to Max. Inside the box lay two silver bracelets, each bearing one half of a cupcake charm. "I bought us matching cupcake charm bracelets!"

"Does that look like something I'm going to wear?" Max asked. The timer for the oven sounded so she turned off the oven. She put on oven mitts, pulled out the baking pans and placed them carefully atop the cooling racks sitting on the counter. "In case you didn't know, the answer to that is no."

"Come on, Max." Caroline pleaded. "Remember my vision board that you always made fun of?"

"Correction: I always make fun of. I still do. Hah!"

"The point is - it worked! A registered business name, business cards, customers and now we're building more capital. We're getting there." Caroline dangled the bracelets in the air. "The bracelet is a daily reminder of our dream. It's the last step."

"The things that make you happy…" Max shook her head, and jokingly added. "I sometimes wonder how we became friends."

"Won't you wear it?" Caroline persisted. Then, she paused. "For us?"

The anticipation and eagerness in Caroline's voice was enough to make Max succumb to the silliness of it all. "Ok, ok." She took the bracelet and wore it around her wrist. "This is the last one – promise?"

With her right hand up, Caroline pledged: "Promise!" Then, she clinked her bracelet with Max's. "We're now cupcake partners for life." She chirped. _Maybe even more than that. Some time._

**Total: $1162.50**

**~~~The End~~~**

**Disclaimer: **I do not own any of the characters of 2 Broke Girls.


End file.
